All American Christmas Carol - 2013 - Dir. Ron Carlson

Overall Rating: 8.5 - Did I Have Fun: Yes!

Thoughts and Feelings

A southern christmas carol, who would've thought? I liked this a lot more than I thought I would. Our Scrooge is a woman named Cindy, who isn't miserly or super rich, she's just super poor and done with everything. Her momma used to own a hair salon that she wanted Cindy to take over, but she never did and now just kinda lives cheap check to cheap check. She's got a few kids but doesn't really get into the holidays, and a boyfriend she kinda treats like shit and uses for his money. I like Cindy cause they did a really good job making her a shitty person - but not so shitty that she crosses any major lines. She's complex and sad just like any other Scrooge. Marley is her dead baby daddy, Christmas Past is a girl she bullied in school, and in this version she actually "corrupts" past and gets her to drink at a party? It was pretty interesting, I haven't seen a Scrooge be able to affect a ghost like that before.

I definitely have some gripes with Christmas Present, who's just a rock and roll star Cindy owns a record of. And the Cratchetts being her suburban brother and sister in law is a pretty cool touch. My favorite ghost by far is Christmas Future, which is just a heartfelt talk with her dead momma. I love seeing all the spooky Futures but it's nice when they make it a family member instead, it adds a different touch. All in all, I think this movie could've done just a few things better, but I really enjoyed it! I think you can appreciate it as the adaptation it is even if you're not a southerner like I am.

A Christmas Carol - 2018 - Dir. Stuart Brennan

Overall Rating: 8 - Did I Have Fun: Yes!

Thoughts and Feelings

This adaptation was kind of a roller coaster. It did some things super well and some things really poorly. Scrooge is just a normal businessman, there's a very neat scene in the beginning where he gives a super generous donation to kids in need, but he only does it so he can make it a tax write off and then revokes his employee's holiday bonuses to make up the loss. Marley is very cool in this version, there's some very real and intense tension between him and Scrooge? Like way more than usual. They spend way more time in Scrooge's past and you can really see in this one why he is the way he is. Some of the ghosts could've been handled better, but The Cratchett family more than makes up for it. Bob is a girl (the first time I've seen that) and Tim is her husband who has cancer. It's one of the first times a Tim Cratchett death scene has made me cry, I really liked how they did it!

What this version does kind of get wrong is... the acting. The characters are all written pretty well but jesus the actor for Scrooge is way too over the top. I have in my notes that he also kinda looks like Markiplier?? and honestly that really threw me off too lol. The child actors in the Cratchett house weren't great but those are kids. Christmas Past was just all around kind of lame. And Future has no physical form, it's just whispers. That being said, this movie definitely has some charm to it! I did end up liking it a lot.

A Christmas Carol - 2000 - Dir. Ross Kemp

Overall Rating: 10 - Did I Have Fun: Yes!!!

Thoughts and Feelings

This is one of the only versions of A Christmas Carol that I don't want to spoil. And yes, it can be spoiled even knowing the original story. Hands down one of my favorite versions I've ever watched. Contemporary versions usually like to tweak stuff too much and IMO they can lose the plot and character motivations super easily, but Ross Kemp knows exactly who Scrooge is and what he's supposed to be. PLEASE if you don't watch any other version, watch this one!!!

In this movie, Scrooge is a loan shark, and Marley is his lackey - only kept around because he owes Scrooge a big debt. Marley was his former partner, but he was killed in a drive by shooting. This movie does something I haven't seen any other adaptation do - after Past visits him, he gets a do-over Groundhog Day style, and he fucks up being good! It's really an incredible scene to watch. I can't go into more of it without giving major spoilers and I swear I'm not usually this person but I really just want people to watch this one for themselves. It's free on Tubi and you can use an adblocker!! Please please please give this movie some love.

Scrooge & Marley - 2012 - Dir. Richard Knight Jr., Peter Neville

Overall Rating: 9 - Did I Have Fun: Yes?

Thoughts and Feelings

This movie was fucking wild lmao. First and foremost - this is a very gay adaptation. Scrooge, Marley, almost everyone that works at the bar, Fezziwig, and at least one of the ghosts are all gay. The jokes range from kind of offensive to absolutely hilarious, and it tackles aids rep and awareness really well! Our Scrooge is bitter because his dad disowned him for being gay, and he was brought into a world of coke and lots of money by Marley, his pimp. Together they end up screwing over Fezziwig (who's almost a drag queen in this version) by getting him fucked up on coke and then tricking him into signing a contract that gives them all his money. It was a really upsetting part to watch. Christmas Past is a barkeep Scrooge fires at the beginning of the movie, who's only doing this for a second job. He takes him back in time with poppers which was fucking hilarious.

The actor for both the current day Scrooge and the younger Scrooge were both incredible. If I hadn't liked anything else about this movie I would've kept watching it anyways just for them. I only have a few complaints, but they're all minor. The camera quality kept wildly shifting between some scenes, and if I recall correctly there were three whole song breaks from a singer that works at the bar Scrooge runs. Her voice was nice but like, three songs? lol. I have in my notes that they introduced Tiny Tim very close to the end of the movie, and I have a high rating for the Cratchetts, but I couldn't begin to tell you what their plots actually were. This version actually focuses way more on the Fezziwig side of things. Overall, pretty good movie! You should definitely check it out!

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